Digital Father Podcast

Prom Babies

Seen in DEAR ABBY:

Please help me to warn your readers about an alarming trend happening in the teenage community: prom babies. I first heard about it while driving my teenage daughter to a lacrosse meet with several of her girlfriends. One girl in the car, “Carrie,” said she hoped this year she could have a prom baby. ….Both had deliberately planned to get pregnant on prom night — hence the term, “prom baby.” ….My daughter later told me that several of her other friends were considering trying to get pregnant near prom time so they, too, wouldn’t have to deal with the pressures of going to college.

Wow. This one set me back on my heels. The fact that there is a known term for this scared the bejeezus out of me. It’s indicative of a number things, though:

• Pressure that girls feel about what we, as parents and society, consider to be “success”.
• A lack of communication with parents.
• A real misunderstanding of what having a child is like.

I wonder how many of these young girls come from families with siblings? I can’t imagine anyone with a younger sibling thinking this was a good idea. However, there are many young ladies who have children because they think it’s a quick way to government support, so who knows?

How do you avoid this with your child?

• Talk about sex. Talk about college. Talk about their hopes and dreams.
• Be honest and realistic with them. Not everyone is ready for college at 18. I wasn’t. It’s not the end of the world.
• Prom night is not different than any other night. If she was not ready for a co-ed sleepover on Thursday, she’s no more ready on Friday.
• Talk to your boys as well. It takes two to tango, and if your son is dating a girl under this type of pressure, he could be swept up in it. If at least one person is of sound mind, it’s possible this circumstance can be avoided.
• Take a breath. If your children are afraid to share honestly for fear that you’ll lose your cool, you’ll lose your children instead. This is the hardest part of parenting, because we are looking back at the road they have ahead of them.

Continuing the road analogy one step further, consider describing a road you traveled once 18 years ago. The road is different, and your memory of it is certainly cloudy. The best you can do is tell them “it was treacherous, but if you’re careful you’ll be able to navigate it successfully.” You can give them the benefit of your experience, but they are in the drivers seat.

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Photo found at a disturbing post on Parents Behaving Badly